I think a part of growing up, at least for me, is learning that you really can't control much of anything. You can shape things, move them along, try to retain them or release them, but in all honesty, your influence on anything but your own mind is often miniscule. And that's okay. I've been learning the art of patience, above all. Patience and hope. Because as much as I hate this moving around and not having anywhere set to live for years and years, I also love the unknown. I don't know what I'll be able to hold on to, from my various locations, but I can hope it'll be the things and people that matter. I'm gonna try my hardest, but the only real test is time. I'll have to just...wait and see. That's something I'm learning to be good at. So I'm trying to hold on to the moments in my mind, so I'll always have something, even when I feel I don't.
in the long run; but no explanation,
no mix of words or music or memories
can touch that sense of knowing that
you were there and alive in that corner
of time and the world. Whatever it meant.
-Hunter S. Thompson.
So...while I'm staying with my parents in San Antonio in their brand new (to us) home, I'm gonna try to stop dwelling on what I've left behind, and focus on being alive here. And the possibilities of the future.
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